Monday, January 30, 2012

College Survival Guide: The Dorm Life; Roommates

WOOO Leaving the house after 18 miserable years right?

Not quite. We take a lot of shit for granted from our parents. I did. You get to college after checking everything off on your must-have list, spending at least $400 on furniture, food, and some cheap appliances to make your little home life a little more sweet.

But it isn't sweet. Unless your roommate is Calvin Klein or Clint Eastwood. That would be badass as fuck. You could probably get a few style lessons or asskicking ones. But that's not the case. All too often we are stuck with a random roommate. We're unable to be with a friend because they are with someone else, or the hassle of switching rooms is too great. You end up with a random roommate...
Your random roommate is one of five things:

1. Normal white guy, nerdy, gamer, doesnt do much but sit infront of his PC up all night playing WoW or CoD.
2. Jock, leaves his sodded straps all over the place. Every time you see him come back he is sweating profusely. Doesn't matter where he was, whatever he was doing, he was going all out. He will probably bang more girls in one weekend than you will all of college. But look at the brightside, at least you wont have a bastard child before graduation.
3. The Creep, even worse than a normal white guy. He is the bane of antisocial. You havent had a legitimate conversation with him and you're already a month into school. It wont get much better. In fact , it will get much worse when you walk in on him wacking it to his BDSM porno. Sorry, you're just out of luck here.
4. The Black guy - This can go both ways. There are plenty of great black guys out there. Im not trying to be racist here, but you all know where Im going with this, so not much needs to be said. I'll leave it at that, if you do get a black roommate, lets hope that hes one of those great guys.
5. The Asian - Foreign exchange student ? Youre not gonna get any bonding out of this. Plain and simple, friend. That is, if they are a Fob. if not, youre ok. but a Fob... heh... yeah.


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